Well, I did it. I put in a 7 week notice which turned into a 4 1/2 week notice as the end came much sooner then I anticipated. It was bitter sweet for sure. Friends were made here but these last couple of weeks, some truths were seen, and God very clearly closed that door for me. I do see a couple other doors cracked ever so slightly, but for now, we be still and wait.
So it was agreed that I would work until May 2nd, but as the weeks past and I started to set boundaries, things started to change. A discussion was had to potentially cut my time short. So Monday I started the week with the idea that Friday would be my last day, as my boss seemed eager for me to go ahead and leave. Well, long story short, we split the difference and made last Wednesday my last day.
I am officially on day 5 of freedom and I am still trying to get used to the idea of being free.
The first two days, I got out and ran some errands, and honestly my brain felt like it was miss firing. Almost like a brain fog and and exhaustion that hit me hard about mid day. The weekend was not much better, as I fought the urge to do the normal weekend chores and try to take a day of rest.
So here we are, sitting on the back porch as I write. It is my goal to be productive most days and use the weekends to maintain and rest. As I try to figure out this new schedule and life, I will say, the anxiety is still there.
One of the things I am trying to do better at is spending time in the Word. I have been doing this for a couple weeks now, and God has given me a couple of scriptures that jumped off the page recently. I was led to read about Hezekiah. I started in 2 Kings then jumped over to 2 Chronicles after that.
Tuesday morning, after finding out Wednesday was my last day, I read this:
2 Chronicles 29:36 - And Hezekiah and all the people rejoiced because God had provided for the people, for the thing came about suddenly.
As soon as I read it, it jumped off the page at me. Now, yes, my staying home was planned, but at the same time, there has been some financial worry to go with it. I made decent money and that end date was moved up, very suddenly. I had a sense of peace, but still some anxiety and uncertainty around this decision. But when it was done, final, ending, I'll admit, I was a bit scared. This verse gave me the resolve to finish the job and walk away without fear.
Then Thursday, I read this:
2 Chronicles 31:21 - Every work which he began in the service of the house of God in law and in commandment, seeking his God, he did with all his heart and prospered.
For me it was a reminder that this job set before me, though it does not pay, I am to do it for God and according to His commandments and he will prosper us. I know this sounds like money talk, but it is deeper than that for me. I am looking for a blessed life. A life that brings God joy. A life that isn't so wrapped up in work that I forget my main ministry...my family.
So today, as I sit on my back porch, I am thankful for this opportunity and pray that this will be a blessing to others.
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